CAN WE COLLABORATE WHEN WE DISAGREE?

Comments 0 by in Collaboration, Employee Engagement, Money, Simplicity at Work
January 29, 2018

Blog Photo RLM

“A clear purpose will unite you as you move forward, values will guide your behavior, and goals will focus your energy.”

―Kenneth H. Blanchard, Collaboration Begins with You: Be a Silo Buster

Do you sometimes find it difficult to collaborate, to get along with people at work, in social settings or even at home?  Are you sensitive to criticism, feeling personally attacked or misunderstood?  To what degree does this stand in the way of achieving success and happiness?

I have noticed that in groups I’m in, places I frequent and work situations there seems to be more disagreement, anger, hostility, and division than I remember experiencing before.  While I could shrug it off and tell myself “we just have to accept it”, I don’t think we do.  If we look at the price we pay because of conflict — in lost harmony, happiness, and success — we may be astonished.

Unless you have been living on a desert island you have likely found yourself in an uncomfortable political, economic, or racial conversation. I was recently in a business meeting where the conversation turned to politics. Some people in the room had strong views and were personally attacking others who disagreed with those views.  My stress level and antennae went up.  Should I jump in and defend the persons being attacked or keep my views to myself?

I learned in law school that when debating issues it is critical to debate the idea rather than attack the person.  Because issues of politics, money and race affect our very existence they can become flashpoints between people and groups, causing us to operate from our primitive brain (amygdala).  When you get back to your rational brain and remove the existential angst it becomes easier to listen for what you have in common with the person with whom you disagree.  When we lump people into categories because they disagree with us (they are “ignorant”, “mean”, “stupid”, “uncaring”, “racist”, etc.) we are not able to collaborate with them to achieve common goals.  The United States Legislature is a great example. It is critical to avoid judgement, labels and expectations of others.  As Harrison Owen said in “The Power of Spirit:  How Organizations Transform: “As people think and work together, a fabric of shared meaning comes into being.”

If you find yourself in one of these situations, I suggest a few simple steps based on business productivity, collaboration and conflict resolution principles:

  1. Take a few deep breaths and think about the primary purpose of the group, meeting, or team.
  2. Once you are clear on the primary purpose, identify your specific role.
  3. Contribute only actions or words that you believe will be helpful to achieving success (as defined by the primary group purpose, your particular role and your objectives) and you will do no harm.

How can we use these simple tools to achieve constructive collaboration and, as a result, greater success?  I use the FOCUS VISION© process to help groups or individuals gain a clear focus on the one goal that will drive greater success, and help clients achieve clarity about their goal and role.  When I collaborate I focus on these principles as I support and interact with others.  I watch out for times that I am not listening, when I find myself labelling, or trying to convince others that I am right.  I remember the saying “Would you rather be happy or right?”

Finally, show gratitude.  Saying “Please” and “Thank You” to teammates for their contributions to the common objective goes a long way in fostering constructive conversation and great collaboration.

Thanks for reading my blog and please pass it on to friends and colleagues whom you think might enjoy and benefit by it.

Let’s make 2018 our year to successfully collaborate in business and in life.

Robin L. Moncrieff

CLEAR FOCUS STRATEGY

Founder and Lead Strategist

Copyright 2018 – All rights reserved

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